Redefining “happily ever after”

Narrative written October 19, 2007; revised May 21, 2011.

The blend of crimson, yellow, pale green, and brown leaves cover the trees that stand over a sparkling ultramarine-blue Badin Lake, in which some of the sky’s beauty reflects on the rippling surface—all this flits into my vision in a millisecond. Then a road replaces the fleeting sight, and then I see more trees as we cross a bridge. As my dad steers us away from Badin Lake, our car bumps over the expansion joint on the bridge and I am knocked out of my reflections.

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My family has just left Badin Shores Resort, where my great-uncle Vondale and great-aunt Rose—my grandmother’s sister—just celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. They used the Club House, the insides of which were covered with great, blown-up pictures of Uncle Vondale, Aunt Rose, and their daughter Wendy throughout the years. 

Remains of the anniversary cake, modeled after their original wedding cake, are being cleared when we leave, and though the celebration officially ended at 4pm, half an hour later people are still saying their goodbyes, socializing with friends, and congratulating the couple of fifty years.

When we leave, the paper tablecloths have been trashed, although some food dishes remain at the long buffet table and the drink and dessert table. My hard-working grandmother, who took on a major role in planning the event, is packing away decorations.

There were toasts and songs and stories, all dedicated to my aunt and uncle and their undying marriage. Like any marriage, it had its emotional and physical trials, but they held through it, coming out of rough times more bound together each time. Uncle Vondale, when asked how they stayed together for so long, answered, "Well, you don’t leave and you don’t die."

I admire my sweet, generous Aunt Rosie and my bold Uncle Vondale, my youngest brother’s namesake. I would like a marriage like theirs—adventurous, fun, loving, interdependent, and yet not without challenges. I would like to choose the right person and have a long, happy marriage. Who doesn’t want a "happily ever after"?

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Family is a grounding experience.

Family reunion. What a jam-packed phrase. When I was a child, it meant enduring long car rides, sleeping in strange places, and playing with my cousins. I remember those times the way I remember most of my childhood scenes: selectively, emphasizing details which render a certain time and place as either 100% miserable or pleasurable.

In the years between now and then, my brain had come to register the event as something to grit your teeth through, a tense time masquerading as “vacation.” My cousins and I grew into teenagers while scattered across the world (Philippines, China, California, up and down the East Coast), each living and learning differently from the others, so perhaps this contributed to my disjointedness from the extended family.

Or perhaps I was simply immature, selfish, and rude. I hope my cousins, uncles, aunts, and parents forgive me for those times—when I emailed an unflattering picture to friends; when I buried my head in a stack of books; when I avoided everyone, instead crying about leaving the Philippines. When I neglected to play games with, speak the truth to, or tolerate the quirks of my family.

Only now, our culpable actions can fade into the history of relationships that are now revived and thriving; I just came back from a family reunion at a missionary guest house in Snows Mill, Georgia. My mom’s side of the family includes four families, one grandmother, and 14 minors. This is the first full Simpson reunion we’ve had in four years, because of the said scattered locations.

After three and a half days of talking, swimming, watching hilarious videos, snapping photos, eating (lots of eating!), and besting each other in strategy and card games, I’m glad to say that I love my cousins and that I will miss them. I thank God for the past few days, for I have distinctly realized what separates “family” from just “friends.” There is no tension, no secrets, no self-consciousness. It’s regretful that it will be at least two or three years until the next time—the missionary family is returning to their country of assignment in less than three weeks. When they return again, we will be on the cusp of college and adulthood!

For now, I’ll memorialize this with a photo slideshow.

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Red, Blue, and Everything in Between

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I’m going to post these to my Flickr set in August; for now, I’ve exceeded my monthly limit!

VIPs of the Week

Happy birthday, Mom! Happy Father’s Day!

“…a golden thread to the meaning of life.”

Dear Autumn,

In between us there are three boys, each distinct and individual. Right now, Calvin has just finished 8th grade. He is reserved and intellectual, but he plays baseball and shoots hoops. Peter just graduated from 5th grade—his passion du jour is all things RC trucks. Ray is the usually-sweet, often-whiny, “baby” of the family. Peter is going from elementary to middle school, and Calvin is going from middle school to high school!

But you are different. You are my only sister. Do you realize how monumental that is? You are my red-haired princess. You wear pink every day, and you daintily dine on mini-pancakes and macaroni and cheese. You watch  “Dora-ego”, Strawberry Shortcake, and Peep. You love Charlie, our pet Chihuahua. Twice a day you ask for “choc-milk-juice”: your name for one bottle of milk with Nesquik and one bottle of half-water/half-apple juice. I take you on walks in the jog stroller and I’ve changed your diaper more times than anyone can count (although Mom’s got me beat).

When I go off to college in a couple years, you will only be 4 and a half years old—not even a kindergartener. So we can get to know each other while I’m still home, and then when I’m gone and you learn how to read, you can get to know me through my blog! Of course, you may want to skip straight to 2011 to start with. That gives a better picture of your older sister.

I want us to enjoy the depths of sisterhood, Autumn, even though I am nearly 14 years older than you. Ideally, a sibling is one who takes an interest in their brothers and sisters; one who spends time with them, rather than merely sharing the same house. So let it be, between you and me and all of those boys between us.

Love from your sister,

newborn (3-Feb-2009)	bathtime :: 3.5 months (17-May-2009)
sisters :: 16 months (11-Jun-2010)	4.5 months (25-Jun-2009)